Hotel Management
by Clinically Insane
Summary: (Rogue+Remy)(Kolossus)(John+Wanda)(Scott+Jean) While the cats are away the mice will play and break something really expensive! So to make $ they convert the X-Mansion into a fully loaded spa and resort compelete with a demonic polo pony-That's all folks
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: Home Coming  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.  
  
AN: So far the order of stories in this series from first to last is 1) Once Upon a Nightclub 2) Captured in Canada 3) How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants take 4) Shot in the Dark 5)Hotel Management  
  
Yes, this story comes after Shot in the Dark, just so we're clear and now let the folly (foolishness) unfold.  
  
CRUNCH!  
  
Wanda had just jumped off the ski lift and gone through the brittle snow below. After regaining her balance she glided downward through the trees pausing before the huge metal sphere in the ground. She stared at her reflection for a good 5 minutes before reaching into her pocket for the key, a small device that emits a strong magnetic force powerful enough to open the dome.  
  
Reluctantly she hit the button, still feeling a little guilty about what her adoptive mother, Lani, had done to her father (She still has no memory of her real childhood because of the number Mastermind did on her head). Although she wasn't too worried, if there was one thing Magneto was good at it was surviving.  
  
As the opening closed behind her she caught her reflection in the mirror and nearly scared the crap out of herself. Ever since she had left with her mother two months (8 weeks) ago she had received a bitchin' tan from jet setting around Europe. Her favorite part of the trip had been sailing in the Mediterranean off the coast of Greece.  
  
The walls seemed colder than she remembered.  
  
Wanda walked down the quiet hall. She figured all of the Acolytes had left after Magneto disappeared. Reaching the answering machine she put her back to the commons room to see if there had been any calls while she was out. She pushed the button.  
  
"You have-zero-messages," said the machine in a monotone, simulated female voice.  
  
Wanda sighed. Things were going to be pretty damn dull with no one around, as much as she hated to admit it. She reached in her pocket again and pulled out the Discover card her mother had given her before they had parted company. Her mind was made up, the Bayville Marriot it was! She was about to dial information to make a reservation when-  
  
"Leaving so soon?" came a familiar and annoying voice from behind her.  
  
Wanda spun around ready to go head long into battle only to come face to face with her twin, Pietro.  
  
"Pietro? But I thought I was the only one here." said Wanda rather confused.  
  
"Uh, ya-you and the rest of the Acolytes," said Pietro giving his sister a questioning look.  
  
"The rest of the Acolytes?! All of them?"  
  
"Yes, all of them," Pietro was starting to worry about Wanda at this point.  
  
"Even Magneto?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Yes, Wanda, even Magneto."  
  
Wanda was dumbfounded, "How long has Magneto been here?"  
  
"About six weeks. Something about business in the Sahara or something with this guy-um-I don't remember his name."  
  
"Mutar" stated Wanda.  
  
"Yeah. but how did you know?"  
  
"That's not important. Where's Magneto now?"  
  
"Sleeping, just like everyone else. Wanda, it's 3:45 in the morning, everyone went to bed about an hour ago."  
  
"Really? I must still be on Grecian time." said Wanda looking down at her watch, "Then why are you up?"  
  
"I just wanted to read in peace." he claimed.  
  
Pietro got up from the couch and gave his sister a hug (Awwww, isn't that cute? HURK-'scuse me gag reflex-People, you know this won't last. I'll see to that right now!)  
  
After a few seconds Wanda rolled her eyes and pushed Pietro away, "Yes, I got you a stack of European porn," said Wanda in an exasperated tone as she unzipped her duffle bag and pulled out a huge stack of magazines tied with twine.  
  
"Sweet, you're the best sister in the world!" exclaimed Pietro as he literally jumped on her.  
  
As Pietro clung to her neck Wanda got a better view of the couch and the book her brother had been reading.  
  
"Pietro, is that my diary?!" asked Wanda in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Um-" squeaked Pietro as he looked over his shoulder.  
  
ZAAAAAP!!!!!!!  
  
A burst of light lit up the commons room and the kitchenette. Once the darkness was restored, Wanda picked up her diary and her duffle bag and walked quietly to her room leaving her now smoking brother to regain use of his nervous system.  
  
-------------  
  
WARNING (with bid ass flashing lights): chapter 2 is, well, it's chapter 2. Consider yourself warned!  
  
It's hard to explain without giving it away 


	2. Strange Bedfellows

Chapter 2: Strange Bedfellows  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters as of yet!  
  
The next morning or afternoon rather, Wanda got up took a shower, got dressed and walked to the commons room to see everyone assembled. And I mean everyone, including Gambit, Wanda was shocked, but maintained her composure.  
  
"Is it Sunday already?" she asked, remembering back to all the afternoon meetings she had been forced to sit through rather than doing what she wanted to do, SLEEP!  
  
"No, it's Wednesday," said her father, "I've called an emergency meeting, sit down."  
  
Wanda took a seat on the arm of the couch aside her brother who looked at her nervously.  
  
"I am sure you all remember the spider incident in London is directly linked to the mutant Apocalypse, whose motive is still unknown. Xavier believes he has a lead as to where Mesmero will be headed next. If we and I mean the adults can head him off before he reaches his final destination we stand a chance of stopping the release of Apocalypse. So, Sabertooth, Mystique, Mastermind and myself will be gone for the better half of the evening and this structure had still better be standing when we return." with that having been said their fearless leader closed the meeting, "Dismissed."  
  
-------------  
  
Later that evening Gambit, Colossus, Pietro and Pyro we parked in front of the tube (television). The alarm on Pyro's wrist watch went off.  
  
"Well, see you mates later. I'm goin' ta bed."  
  
"Quoi?" asked Gambit looking at his watch, "It be only 7:30 homme."  
  
"Besides Jackass is on in half an hour (Ok, I don't watch Jackass so I have no clue what time it's on-I assume much later because of the content-but for the purposes of this story it's on at 8 o'clock in Bayville), you love that show!" said Pietro.  
  
"I know, but I'm really tired," said St. John rather unconvincingly.  
  
"O-kay," said Pietro suspiciously.  
  
The three remaining on the couch watched as Pyro walked off towards his room.  
  
"Dat was-" Gambit began.  
  
"Vierd." Colossus finished the sentence.  
  
"Ya," agreed Pietro.  
  
-------------  
  
Pyro turned the knob to his room slowly and went in closing the door behind him.  
  
ZZZZIIIIIIIIIPPPP!  
  
Pyro turned to see Wanda finish pulling the zipper of her skin tight, black, plastic corset to its hilt, right between her breasts (sorry to be so graphic, but I'm attempting to get a point across). The only other articles of clothing she was wearing were matching knee high boots and a guarder.  
  
Pyro locked the door, "Damn, Shi-er-Wanda," she hated it when he called her 'Sheila', "I missed this." He said looking her up and down.  
  
She ripped the comforter off the bed, "When did Gambit come back?"  
  
"'bout a week afta Magneto, why?" asked Pyro as he placed wine colored over the lamp shades of the two small table lamps sitting on nightstands on either side of the bed.  
  
"It just seems strange that Magneto would take him back after firing him then nearly killing him." reasoned Wanda hooking a black, coiled bullwhip to guarder.  
  
"That should tell ya how bad the situation with Apocalypse is shapin' up ta be." said Pyro laying down on the bed.  
  
"Everyone seems to be ok with it," observed Wanda as she shackled his ankles to the footboard of the bed.  
  
"Don't be fooled." said Pyro, "Things were a might shaky in the beginning, but Gambit bein' Gambit was able ta gain everybody's favor ratha quickly."  
  
"Really?" asked Wanda as she straddled Pyro's hips (AN: Take extreme note to the previous 3 words, before this AN!) to handcuff his wrists to the headboard.  
  
"Oh, ya, it was real uncomfortable in the beginning." said Pyro watching as Wanda squeezed the cuff shut around his wrist, "He normally stayed in his room all day except for meals, training, missions and seein' Rogue."  
  
Wanda looked down at Pyro's face ('face' muy importante b/c previous AN) after cuffing his other hand to the headboard, "You're getting hard on me already?" she asked with an evil glint in her eye and a sly smirk  
  
Again I apologize, but at least this chapter is holding your interest, right? Or perhaps you're reading it through splayed (split) fingers over your face to cover your virgin eyes- whatever floats your boat, dude. Oh, and incase you were wondering, Wanda has no memory of Pyro trying to turn her into a scorch mark on that bridge because of the job mastermind did on her head-just to clarify. Now back to the story!  
  
"Whad you expect Shi-Wanda? You've been gone for two months. Two very long months, durin' which Mystique took the Victoria Secret catalogue back ta her room whenever it came to actually look at the clothes!" said the exasperated Aussie.  
  
"Poor baby," said Wanda mockingly as she grabbed the collar of Pyro's t- shirt-  
  
RIP!  
  
She tore the shirt to the point that his navel was showing.  
  
Taking his jaw with one hand she kissed him hard on the mouth as she reached into the nightstand drawer for a roll of duct tape.  
  
"Now remember," she said as she unfastened his pants (and to answer any lingering questions Pyro is going commando [without underwear] for the sake of this scene. What can I say except for you'll have something interesting to talk about with the therapist you'll most likely need to hire after this chapter), "If I start really hurting you the safety word is: bunny."  
  
With that having been said Wanda tore off a piece if duct tape and securely stuck it over Pyro's mouth and then unleashed the bullwhip.  
  
WH-CHHH  
  
The whip cracked over Pyro's body.  
  
-------------  
  
Ok, that's as far as we're going because I'm shaking right now and I don't know why. Should I be worried?!  
  
Anyway, what I really want to know is your opinion on these characters as a couple. I know it seems bizarre at first glance, really bizarre, it did to me at least, but then I cross referenced the similarities in their powers- well sort of. 


	3. Scott's Black Eye

Chapter 3: Scott's Black Eye  
  
(I know I'm tingling with anticipation, are you?)  
  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters so far (MWHAHAHAHA-*achem*where was I, ah yes-)  
  
The next day (as in the day following Wanda and Pyro's rendezvous) Rogue had just gotten back from seeing Gambit. She turned the knob of the mansion's front door and walked into the foyer. Kitty was sitting on one of the couches reading.  
  
Kitty looked up, "Oh, hi Rogue, like how is Gambit?"  
  
"He's fiahne, whay?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Just wondering," said Kitty in her usual perky tone as she returned to the confines of her book.  
  
"How's Lance?" asked Rogue looking both ways to make sure no one was around.  
  
"We-uh-like broke up," said Kitty staring into her book, "I read the test wrong-no baby," she finished in almost a whisper (Shot in the Dark reference).  
  
"Aw, Kitty, Ah'm sorry."  
  
Just as Rogue stared walking again Jean come down the main stairwell, "Oh, Rogue, you're back. How's Gambit?"  
  
"Fiahne, whay?" Rogue arched an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, no reason," said Jean brushing off her previous statement and making in expedient exit from the room.  
  
"That was odd," said Rogue as she watched Jean leave then headed for the kitchen.  
  
Once in the kitchen Rogue went over to the refrigerator for a bottle of water when she closed the door she found Kurt to be standing directly behind it.  
  
"Damn it, Kurt, don't do that!" said Rogue with a death grip on the bottle of water from the surprise.  
  
"Sorry, Sis," said Kurt, "I vas just vondering how Gambit vas," he continued has innocently as possible.  
  
"He's fiahne, whahy?" asked Rogue frowning with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Uh-no reason," said Kurt backing out of the room.  
  
Multiple walked into the kitchen next, "Hi Rogue, how's Gambit?"  
  
"He's fiahne fer the love of CHRIAHST!" yelled Rogue as she stormed out of the room.  
  
Multiple shrugged his shoulders as he poured himself a glass of milk, "Must be 'that time of the month'" he said to himself dismissively.  
  
-------------  
  
Rogue took a short cut through the dining room where she found Amara and Bobby playing a lightning round of chess.  
  
"Hi Rogue," said Bobby.  
  
"How's Gambit?" asked Amara.  
  
"Ya, what have you two been up to lately?" asked Bobby.  
  
"Ah don't see how that any o' yo business!" exclaimed Rogue.  
  
Amara looked up, "Problems in bed?" she whispered.  
  
"OH MAH GAWD-AH DID NOT JUST HEAH THAT!" yelled Rogue covering her ears and bolting form the room.  
  
"I wonder what's eating her," said Amara watching Rogue's flight from the room.  
  
"Obviously not Gambit," said Bobby as he concentrated intently on the board (Oh, come on I had to!)  
  
SMACK!  
  
Amara hit Bobby up side the head.  
  
"OW! What the hell was that for?" asked Bobby.  
  
"Being a guy!" said Amara sternly.  
  
"Whatever," said Bobby really not in the mood to care, "Wait, the ponies move in an 'L', right?" he asked looking intently at the board.  
  
Amara covered her eyes with her hand, "You are such an idiot."  
  
-------------  
  
Rogue continued down the hall where who should she run into, but Sunspot and Berzerker.  
  
"Hey, Rogue," greeted Sunspot.  
  
"Hiah," said Rogue.  
  
"Aren't you home a little early? Is everything ok between you and Gambit?" asked Berzerker.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Rogue screamed ran down the hall and into one of the parlors and slammed the door behind her.  
  
As she panted she realized she wasn't alone. She looked up to see none other than Wolverine sitting in an overstuffed chair glancing at the sports section of the paper.  
  
"So," began a grinning Wolverine tossing the paper onto the coffee table before him, "how's Gambit?"  
  
"GODDAMN IT LOGAN, AH SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE BEHAHIND THIS!" yelled Rogue.  
  
"Whoa, Stripes, you brought this on yourself!" said Logan with an accusing tone.  
  
"Ah, can't stand this! The entiahre tiahme Ah've been here it was always 'Rogue, you should go out more', 'Rogue, whay don't you come with us and meet some new people?' and mah personal favorite, "Rogue, your so up tiaght you should really fiahnd a boyfriend'. Well guess what Logan Ah finally took all yer advice and this is how you repay me?!"  
  
"Stripes, he works for the bad guy you should have been worried if you didn't get this treatment." growled Logan.  
  
"Ya know you were the last person Ah thought this would come from." said Rogue opening the door to the hallway, "Ah just figured you miahght rough house with gambit one niaght in the yard after he brought me back home. Ah see now Ah gave you too much credit, assuming you would have the decency to do something behiahnd my back." Her eyes narrowed, "Now Ah see yer just Sabertooth, an animal." (Whoa, that was harsh!!!!)  
  
Before Logan had a chance to respond Scott, who was 'just passing by', walked into the room, "Oh, hey Rogue, how's Gambit?" he asked nonchalantly.  
  
"Scott fist. Fist Scott." said Rogue.  
  
POW!!!!!!!  
  
Before Scott knew what happened he was unconscious on the floor. Although he was fortunate in one respect, Logan's quick reflexes. Wolverine was able to scoop Rogue up before she could do anymore damage to Scott's motionless body.  
  
"An' yer the worst, Scott," yelled Rogue as she tried to squirm out of Logan's grasp, but to no avail.  
  
"Ya, I'm the animal," said Logan sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"Damn it, Logan, put me down!" insisted Rogue.  
  
"Not until you calm down!" growled Logan.  
  
By now everyone was on the scene. Before long Kurt teleported Hank and Scott down to sickbay. Kitty was aghast and Jean had gone down to look after Scott (like you didn't already deduce that on your own).  
  
Rogue was still fighting to get out of Logan's grasp even after the Prof. and Storm had gotten rid of everyone and shut the parlor door.  
  
Once the door was locked Logan put Rogue back on her feet.  
  
"Rogue, why don't calm down and tell us what this is all about. Maybe if you brought Gambit over everyone could see-"  
  
"Ferget it," said Rogue dismissively smoothing down her clothes, "Everyone has obviously proven they're not mature enough to handle this". She looked pointedly at Logan.  
  
With that she walked unlocked the door and opened it-  
  
"Where the hell do you think yer goin', Stripes?" asked an exasperated Logan.  
  
"Ah don't know and Ah don't care as long as it's far away from here!"  
  
"Rogue wait!" insisted Ororo.  
  
SLAM!  
  
Too late. Rogue had already slammed the parlor door.  
  
Ororo looked Logan, "I hope you're happy."  
  
"Calm down both of you. She just left to cool off she's not leaving forever." Professor Xavier tried to keep the escalating situation down to a dull roar.  
  
"And how long will she need to 'cool off', Chuck?" asked Wolverine.  
  
"I don't know," said the Prof. honestly, "but I wouldn't worry."  
  
"Still, we should not have let the situation get this far out of hand," said Storm with her arms crossed and giving Logan the evil eye.  
  
Oh ya, Wolverine knew he was in deep shit now. 


	4. Breakfast with the Acolytes

Chapter 4: Breakfast with the Acolytes  
  
The roar of Logan's motorcycle died in the garage at 11:10pm later that night.  
  
SLAM!  
  
Wolverine threw the door shut and walked down the hall to the parlor Rogue had lost it earlier. The Prof., Storm, Beast, Jean and Scott with an icepack over his left eye were waiting for him.  
  
"Did you find her?" asked Ororo.  
  
"No," said Wolverine taking off his gloves.  
  
"I'm starting to worry," said the Prof., "Cerebro can't seem to locate her."  
  
"Do you think she's hurt?" asked Beast.  
  
"No," said the Prof, "but all the same I'm concerned about her reception once she returns."  
  
"Ok, I admit we were a little harsh," said Scott.  
  
"Maybe, but she didn't have to take it like that!" said Jean.  
  
"Yes, yes she did," said Wolverine leaning against the barren fireplace.  
  
"Why?" asked Scott.  
  
"Ever since we saw the video Gambit's brother sent Rogue's been on edge around all of us," explained the Professor, "most of all you and Wolverine because you are the team leaders. She knows how you feel towards the Acolytes, especially Gambit and therefore- "  
  
"-Therefore she feels she always has to be on guard when their around." concluded Hank.  
  
"Exactly," said the Prof.  
  
"Then why not come and talk to one of us?" asked Scott.  
  
"C'mon now Scooter you now better than anyone Stripes isn't like that." said Logan looking the other way.  
  
Oh contrar-Rogue did like to talk just not to the X-men.  
  
-------------  
  
Needless to say when the Acolytes returned home around 11:30pm they were more than a little surprised to see Rogue sitting at the kitchen table with Wanda.  
  
"Isn't she from the other team, comrade?" Colossus asked Pyro.  
  
St. John shrugged, "I thought so, mate," he said as he sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V.  
  
Colossus walked over and joined him on the couch.  
  
Who should walk in next but the Master of Magnetism himself with Gambit at his heels.  
  
"Cher?! What you be doin' here?!" exclaimed the confused Cajun.  
  
"Precisely what I was wondering," said Magneto as he looked accusingly at Gambit.  
  
"Hey, Gambit din have anyting ta do wid dis," said Remy putting up his hands in defense.  
  
"Care to explain yourself?" asked Magneto looking at Rogue.  
  
"There's not much to explain," admitted Rogue.  
  
"Try me," said Magneto narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Long story short," said Rogue, "Everyone has a problem with Gambit, Ah got into a huge fight with Wolverine, then Ah gave Cyclops a black eye, left the Institute and wound up here."  
  
CLICK!  
  
Pyro turned the TV off, "Ok, now this is gettin' good, mate" he said jabbing Colossus.  
  
"Cher, why'd you give Cyclops de black eye?!" asked Gambit.  
  
"Because he was bein' a wiahse ass and so was Wolverine fer that matter!"  
  
"How hard did ya hit 'im?" asked Pyro who was dying for the details.  
  
"Ah leveled him." stated Rogue.  
  
"Sweet!" if there was one thing St. John liked hearing about it was a good beat down (you did read chapter 2, right?)  
  
Magneto didn't say anything more, just walked down the hallway and to his office to go over the coordinates he got from Xavier.  
  
-------------  
  
The next morning or afternoon, rather, everyone was milling about the commons rooms and kitchenette except Magneto who was in his office pouring over translated ancient texts. Mystique was going over the topography of the coordinates with a solid brass ball point pen. Mastermind sat next to her reading a section of the paper, while Sabertooth leaned against the cabinets drinking a beer. Pyro and the Colossus were sitting on the couch with Pietro staring listlessly at the glowing box, while Wanda sat in an armchair reading a weighty novel.  
  
Gambit staggered into the kitchen ½ awake in a t-shirt and boxers. Somehow he made it over to the counter to pour two cups of coffee.  
  
"Rough night, mate?" Pyro jeered from the couch.  
  
"Ya, what time did Rogue go home?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Wait, Rogue was here?!" Mystique looked up from her paperwork, "Why?"  
  
"Because Ah gave Scott a black eye," said Rogue coming from the same direction as Gambit and only clothed in one of his shirts that came mid- thigh.  
  
Everyone froze while Remy nuzzled Rogue's hair as he handed her a cup of coffee and she wrapped her free arm around his waist.  
  
SNAP!  
  
Mystique broke the solid brass pen in half with one hand without even noticing it, but Rogue saw it and decided to put her acting skills from that Dracula performance way back when to good use.  
  
"Sugah, have you seen mah otha shoe? Ah can't seem ta fiahnd it."  
  
"Behin' de bed mebe? Gambit wasn't payin' all dat much attention to Cher's shoes las' night, non?"  
  
"Ah suppose," said Rogue thoughtfully.  
  
"C'mon Gambit'll help you find it. Den we goin' back to de Institute." said Remy quickly as he ushered Rogue back towards his room once he saw the death grip Mystique had on the table. Both teens knew Magneto had explicitly told Mystique to leave them alone, even with this knowledge it was best not to push Mystique too far. 


	5. Relinquishing Command

Chapter 5: Relinquishing Command  
  
It was around 2:30 in the afternoon when Gambit and Rogue finally made it to the Institute. The dynamic duo rode up to the cold iron gates on Gambit's motorcycle. The gates started to open as they approached. Remy drove up to Institute and killed the engine.  
  
"C'mon let's get dis ova wid," said Gambit a little miserably knowing exactly who was standing behind the door.  
  
As they walked up the stairs the door flew open to reveal none other than Wolverine.  
  
"Gambit hate it when he be right," said Remy under his breath before plastering on a smile and saying in a cheerful voice, "Loose somtin', mon ami?"  
  
"Stripes, where the hell have you been?!"  
  
"Ah, don't really see how that matters!" said Rogue.  
  
"You were gone all last night! And what do you have to say, Gumbo?!"  
  
"Uh-here's yo mail," said Gambit handing Wolverine the contents of the mailbox.  
  
"Great," said Wolverine sarcastically, "What else can he do? Fetch my slippers?"  
  
"Actually he'll sit up and roll over when the occasion calls fer it," said Rogue narrowing her eyes.  
  
"Chere!" scolded Gambit.  
  
SKNIT!  
  
Gambit visibly paled while Rogue only seemed to get bolder.  
  
"Uh, Chere, mebe you should back-"  
  
"Ah know yo not gonna say 'off'," Rogue growled at Gambit.  
  
"I'll have you know I was out looking for you all over!" growled Wolverine.  
  
"Well ya obviously weren't looking very hard!" yelled Rogue.  
  
It was at this time that Professor X, Storm and Beast came into the foyer to see what all the yelling was about.  
  
"Rogue, you've come back," said Ororo.  
  
"Ah didn't really get a choice in the mattah," said Rogue looking at Gambit.  
  
"Cher, ya couldn't stay wid Gambit!" said Remy rather exasperated, "Mags woulda had Remy's head-an' de Smerfette (Mystique) nearly did when you walked outta Gambit's room!"  
  
"You stayed with the Acolytes and in his room?!" roared Wolverine pointing his claws at Gambit.  
  
"Oh liahghten up, Logan!"  
  
"Gambit, why don't you come sit down with us for a while?" asked the Professor.  
  
"I concur," said Beast, "It would be nice to see you when you're not unconscious for once."  
  
"Don' take dis personal, but Gambit be in no mood ta get scoured," said Remy looking at pointedly at Logan's fully extended claws.  
  
-------------  
  
When Remy returned to chez Mags he found everyone in yet another meeting.  
  
"You're late," said Magneto as Gambit walked in, "what took so long?"  
  
"Run in wid Fuzzy," said Gambit under his breath as he sat down.  
  
"Fuzzy?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Wolverine," growled Sabertooth.  
  
"As I was saying," Magneto continued, "Xavier's coordinates have been confirmed. Therefore Mystique, Mastermind, Saberooth and myself will be joining his team to investigate this site. In the meantime while Pietro is watching the Brotherhood Colossus and Gambit will be in charge of the Acolytes."  
  
"What?!" yelped Mystique, "He tried to resign!"  
  
"Yes, but I trust Colossus will keep him in check and vice versa," said Magneto with a sly smirk in Mystique's direction.  
  
"We're ready to go," said Mastermind as he came from the direction of the hall.  
  
"Excellent," said Magneto.  
  
"Oh and one more thing," warned Mystique, "this time if decide to rent porn return it before we come back, so we don't trip over stacks of video tapes when we come back!"  
  
"Don' worry, will call Paperview dis time," jeered Gambit as he leaned back into the armrest of the couch.  
  
Mystique just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Hey Petey, where ya goin'?" asked Pyro as he watched he fellow teammate head for the hall.  
  
"To check our supply of aspirin, Comrade," said Colossus shooting a wary look towards Gambit.  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile back at the Institute things were going in a similar direction. Xavier had assembled everyone in the commons room.  
  
"Now that we're all here, I must inform you all that Scott, Jean, Hank, Logan, Ororo and myself will be leaving for about a week to investigate the coordinates we have with Magneto and a few members of his team. While we are gone Kitty and Rogue will be in charge."  
  
"What?!" yelled Logan and Scott at the same time.  
  
"Professor you're got to be joking!" exclaimed Scott.  
  
"Not at all, Scott. I believe Rogue and Kitty will make a great team."  
  
Kitty and Rogue just looked at each other. What had they gotten themselves into this time?  
  
-------------  
  
Later that night three shadowy figures crept through the stillness and down to the hanger. The adults had taken the Blackbird (the jet), which left the XM Velocity (the helicopter-mentioned in "The Cauldron pt 2") wide open to the trouble making trio of Magma, Berzerker and Sunspot (from the episode "Joyride").  
  
This won't end well, then again does it ever?! (Just theought I'd bring that to your attention). 


	6. How Do We Sweep This Under The Rug?

Chapter 6: How Do Sweep This Under the Rug?  
  
Xavier Institute  
  
3:46 am  
  
CRASH!  
  
Rogue and Kitty sat up simultaneously in their beds.  
  
"What the fuck was that?" asked Rogue to no one in particular.  
  
"Like I don't know, but we'd better check it out," said Kitty urgently.  
  
BAMF!  
  
Kurt suddenly appeared in the girls' room.  
  
"AAAHHHH!"  
  
THUD!  
  
Kitty shrieked and then rolled off the bed.  
  
"Damn it, Kurt. The hell's the mattah with you?!" scolded Rogue.  
  
"Sorry Sis," Kurt half laughed, "but I'm pretty sure zat crach came from ze hanger. Vont a lift?"  
  
"Fiahne!" said Rogue rolling her eyes and reluctantly throwing the covers off.  
  
"Oh, all right," grumbled Kitty.  
  
BAMF!  
  
The three disappeared from the room and reappeared in the hanger, more like what was left of it. You see XM Velocity was suspended rather precariously (dangerously) from the sliding doors of the tennis court by its blades. Magma, Sunspot and Berzerker hadn't waited for the doors to fully open.  
  
The weight of the craft had forced the doors to jamb as it teetered ever so slightly for the better part of a minute before the blades separated from the body and the cabin crashed to the cement floor of the bay.  
  
Fortunately Kurt was able to port in and transported the troublesome trio to safety before the crash.  
  
"Everyone ok?" asked Kurt.  
  
"Ya," said Magma dusting herself off.  
  
"It's all good," said Berzerker.  
  
"I'm fine," said Sunspot.  
  
"Like not when I'm done with you!" yelled Kitty as she proceeded to case them out of the hanger and dawn the hall.  
  
"Uh, Kitty-" Kurt began.  
  
"Don't bother Kurt, you'll only piss her off more." said Rogue, "C'mon help me access the damage."  
  
"Alright!" said Kurt enthusiastically, "The bother and sister team go into action!"  
  
Rogue rolled her eyes and sighed, "Just shut up and hit the light," she griped.  
  
-------------  
  
The next day at Starbucks Rogue recanted the entire escapade of earlier that morning to Gambit.  
  
"13,000 dollars, wheah am Ah supposed to come up with 13,000 dollers fer repairs?!" questioned Rogue.  
  
"Don' worry, Chere, Remy's got de plan." said Gambit sporting his classic smirk.  
  
"Is it legal?" asked Rogue narrowing her eyes.  
  
"For de most part."  
  
"Ah'm listening," said Rogue.  
  
"A bed an' breakfast." said Gambit simply.  
  
Rogue burst out laughing. Good thing there weren't too many people in Starbucks.  
  
"Yer kiddin', riahght?"  
  
"Non," said Gambit, "It'll work."  
  
"How?" asked Rogue, "Ah don't enough people! And even if Ah did there's no guarantee Kitty would go fer it."  
  
"Jus' pitch de idea to de fillie an' Gambit'll talk to de Colossus.  
  
"Wait-Colossus? This miahght just work yet!"  
  
"Whaddya mean, Chere?" asked Gambit.  
  
"Let's just say Kitty has taken a new found interest in kniahghts and armor," said Rogue smirking.  
  
"Really, well Colossus has found a new subject recently," said Remy sliding a folded piece of paper across the table.  
  
Rogue unfolded it and held back a gasp just barely, it was a pencil drawing of Kitty and another girl wearing peasant dresses with white aprons in a field putting flowers in each other's hair, "This girl is Kitty, but who's the other one?"  
  
"His younger sister." said Gambit narrowing his demonic eyes.  
  
Oh ya, both were on the same wavelength.  
  
"What's say we meet fer dinner tonight around 7:30? Ah'll bring Kitty, you bring Colossus."  
  
"Sounds good, Chere, lets meet at dat new restaurant, Le Chateau."  
  
"Uh Sugah, an entrée it as much as an Oldsmobile," Rogue pointed out.  
  
"Don' worry 'bout it." said Remy as he took the folded piece of paper back.  
  
-------------  
  
"NO! The answer in no Rogue-Like what were you thinking?!" scolded Kitty as girls walked out of the hanger.  
  
"Oh an' you have a better idea?" Rogue crossed her arms.  
  
"Well-yes, yes I do!" said Kitty indignantly.  
  
"Say the word 'bakesale' an' Ah will kill you," said Rogue in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Like fine! Maybe I don't have a better idea, but it's better than working with the Acolytes."  
  
"Kitty we need ta be reasonable," said Rogue putting both hands on Kitty's shoulders, "There is no way in hell we can raise 13,000 dollars fer the repairs in less than a week without takin' a risk?"  
  
Kitty just looked away.  
  
"Ah told Gambit Ah'd bring you to Le Chateau toniahght at 7:30 so we could go ovah all the details."  
  
"Like OMG, an entrée is as much as an Oldsmobile! How are we going to afford that?!"  
  
"Gambit said he would handle it," explained Rogue.  
  
"Like why don't I find that comforting. Anything else I should know?"  
  
"He's bringin' Colossus." said Rogue quickly, not sure how Kitty would react.  
  
"OMG, LIKE WHY DID'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!? I ONLY HAVE 4 HOURS TO GET READY!" yelled Kitty over her shoulder as she hightailed it for her closet.  
  
-------------  
  
"No, Comrade, NO!" Colossus said vehemently as he flopped down on his bed.  
  
Gambit stood in the threshold of the room, leaning against the door jamb, "Why not?"  
  
"Magneto wouldn't approve," said Colossus opening a weighty novel.  
  
This little 'discussion' had been going on for the past hour, all through the complex.  
  
"Alright," said Remy 'reluctantly' reaching into his coat, "Gambit din' wana half ta do dis but-"  
  
Colossus looked up from his novel as Remy unfolded the same white paper he had given to Rogue.  
  
"She'll be dere" said Gambit pointing to the image of Kitty.  
  
Colossus froze for a minute then rose to his feet, "After we get back I'm givinc you a blake eye."  
  
"I appreciate you waitin'-You be what a 42 tall? (Is that a more or less suit measurement?) Dere's a suit already in de closet," said Gambit with his awatd winning smirk. 


	7. Open for Business

Chapter 7: Open for Business  
  
Once they heard the other was going it didn't take much prodding to get either Kitty or Piotr to the restaurant. Luckily Gambit had made reservations for one of the most secluded areas of the restaurant so they could talk.  
  
They all sat down.  
  
"So lets order and then we can discuss business," said Rogue opening the menu.  
  
Neither Kitty or Piotr said anything.  
  
"Betta yet Cher lets look at de wine list."  
  
If there was one thing Remy knew a lot about it was negotiations, mostly because of his father. Every time Jean-Luc (Remy's dad) had to come to an agreement with Magnus (Belladonna's father) there was always plenty of wine around {ref to How Much Embarrassment can 2 Mutants Take?}.  
  
Long story short (in this case literally) Remy and Rogue did all the talking, but of course that was the idea from the beginning. By the time the check came it was all settled.  
  
"So, it's decided," said Remy.  
  
"Riahght," said Rogue, "You'll bring all of yer people ovah toniahght we'll set up in the mornin' and we'll open for business in he afternoon."  
  
Remy pulled out a credit card and put it on top of the black leather check case.  
  
Rogue gasped when she saw the name on it-Henri LeBeau-"Remy, what are you doin'?"  
  
"Trust Gambit on dis Chere he owes us," said Remy as he handed the bill back to the waiter. (ref to How Much Embarrassment can 2 Mutants Take?)  
  
While Remy, Rogue, Piotr and Kitty were at the restaurant Wanda took Pyro with her and paid her darling brother, Pietro, a visit. Rogue had called her just before she and Kitty left for the restaurant. (Wanda agreed because of Shot in the Dark).  
  
BANG!  
  
The door to the Brotherhood's house flew open as Wanda and John walked in.  
  
Pietro nearly fell of the couch, "Ahh, Wanda what are you doing here and with him?!"  
  
"I just came to talk dear brother," said Wanda as she reached for the remote.  
  
CLICK!  
  
The TV went black.  
  
Initially the brotherhood groaned at this, but one glare from Wanda and they all left pretty hastily.  
  
"What do you want?" asked Pierto.  
  
"It's rather simple really-"  
  
At this point in the story we take you outside BoM's house for the sake of your eardrums.  
  
"WHAT?!" yelled Pietro loud enough for the dead to hear.  
  
-------------  
  
Later that night around elevenish all the mutants from the X-men (minus Scott and Jean as well as the adults), the Acolytes (minus the adults), the BoM and Forge were present in the Institute's commons room. And needless to say a little confused.  
  
"Ok, I'm sure ya'll have questions are wonderin' what yer doin' heah, riahght?" asked Rogue.  
  
"You bet you're ass!" said Pietro.  
  
"Well, it's simple really," Rogue continued, choosing to ignore Pietro's last remark, "Ya see we need to raise a lot of money really fast fer repairs."  
  
"How much money?" asked Forge.  
  
"13,000 dallahs," mumbled Rogue.  
  
"13,000 dollars!" yelped Pietro, "And just how do you propose we raise this kind of money?"  
  
"We can convert the Institute into a resort for 4 days. We'll hang up posters everywhere, make up the spare bedroom, convert the dining room into a ballroom, the largest parlor into a fiahve star restaurant, the second smallest parlor into a banquet hall with the table from the dining room, the area around the pool into a cabana, the shed into a steam room and if any of you know whea Ah can track down a few polo ponies come an' find me!"  
  
"An wid dat havin' been said we need ta start now! Here are yo assignments: Pietro tape up flyers all over town an' when you get back yo de cabana boy- "  
  
Rogue handed Pietro a stack of at least 1000 sheets of paper.  
  
"Sweet, chick central!" said Pietro before he sped off.  
  
"Wanda-concierge, take Kitty's laptop and set up de foyer, we'll get a desk and chairs down dere as fast as possible."  
  
"Here," Kitty handed her laptop to Wanda.  
  
"Pyro, for de most part yo gonna be waiting tables, keepin' de pool clean an' acting as our resident masseuse, right now Gambit needs you to go to de high school an' create a kiln explosion-make it look like an accident, non?"  
  
"You got it mate!" said John running into action.  
  
"Blob-cook, tink you can handle dat mon ami?"  
  
"Sure, I can do that," said Blob heading off to the kitchen.  
  
"Forge-electric technician, yo' gonna handle everyting dat has to do wid electronics. Dat includes menus an' signs, so go follow de Blob an' start bangin' out a menu-also find a digital camera home. Dere 'as to be pictures o' de staff all over an' o' de services offer'd. Gambit needs de catalogue on Wanda's desk befo'e opening, got it?"  
  
"Groovy," said Forge going after Blob.  
  
"Kurt and Toad yo' in charge o' a'tletics: tennis volleyball, basketball, softball an' whatever else the guest want ta do-"  
  
"Vait! Vhy do I have to vork vith him?!" protested Kurt.  
  
"Ya," said Toad, "Why do I have to work with blue boy over there?"  
  
"Because yer the most agile an because Ah said so," declared Rogue staring at the now trembling pair.  
  
"Like I vas saying, no problem," Kurt quickly changed his tune, "C'mon let's go check ze equipment."  
  
"I'm right behind ya," said Toad quickly.  
  
BAMF!  
  
They ported down to inspect the sports equipment.  
  
"Amara-maid, Bobby-bellhop, Berzerker an' Sunspot grounds clean-up an' landscapin' an' when Amanda (Kurt's girlfriend) gets here tomorra she be mannin' be front desk."  
  
"Are you kidding?" Amara objected.  
  
"NO! This is your fault remember?!"  
  
"Oh, right," said Amara quietly as she walked off with her counter parts.  
  
"Jamie-waiter, you're de only one who can be in 5 places at once, go find Blob an' Forge."  
  
"Ok," said Jamie walking towards the kitchen.  
  
"Lance-Chauffeur, yo' gon' be drivin' de rolls wax it an' in de mornin' go to dis address an' pick up everyone's uniforms." said Remy handing Lance a torn piece of paper.  
  
"Awesome," said Lance as he collected the address from Remy and the keys from Rogue.  
  
"Kitty and Petey you be supervisin' de restaurant and de ballroom, so start settin' up."  
  
The two looked at each other longingly and then walked out of the room.  
  
"So what does that leave fer us, Sugah?" asked Rogue seductively.  
  
"Manager an' Assistant Manager, Chere, porquoi?"  
  
"Ya know yo' incredibly sexy when yer bossin' everyone around liahke that. Ah ratha enjoyed the show."  
  
"Dat's good Cher, but dat wasn't de best show o' de evenin'," said Gambit slyly.  
  
"Oh really, an' what is the best show of the evenin'?"  
  
"De Sout' risin' again! (I know, I know cheap shot)" declared Remy as he seized Rogue around the waist, hoisted her over his shoulder and made a mad dash up stairs to nearest bedroom with a king size bed, of course. 


	8. A Pony Named Demon and International Rel...

Chapter 8: A Pony Named Demon and International Relations  
  
The next day went off without a hitch, for the most part.  
  
Everyone was dressed and ready by noon and the doors officially opened at 1. Within no time Mutant Manor was booked solid.  
  
They were even able to track down 7 polo ponies-er-make that 6 polo ponies and the spawn of Satan clocking in at a whopping 11 hands (a "hand" is a unit of measure for horses), which translates to approx. 3 feet 8 inches tall from the ground to the top of the horse's shoulder blade. Although he was small his professional name had been Dante's Inferno because of the hell he would raise in miniature racing, a small circuit (sorry, it was too easy). He had been the undisputed champion of the track until that fateful day (Oh, stop you knew this was coming!)  
  
As it happened it was raining that day, not hard enough to close the track, but hard enough to cause electrical malfunctions. Just after the shot signaling the start of the race was fired the gates were raised, rather than locking in the up right position they came crashing down again. All of the horses were unharmed except for Dante's Inferno, who being much faster than the rest of the horses already had his head out of the gate.  
  
Needless to say the gate came down on his neck and electrocuted him. He was never the same after that-he became evil and earned the nickname, Demon.  
  
Twice as evil as he was beautiful (I don't know why that's just how it goes- stay with me people!). His body was white except for 3 black socks the only leg that didn't have one was his front right. His mane, tale and forelock were red and his eyes were electric blue (hehe-That was evil I know, I admit it).  
  
I know you're wondering about the whole horse interlude, it's useless character plot. It had to go somewhere, but in the long run you need to know about it).  
  
Toad and Kurt sat on lawn watching the seven ponies in the make shift corral at a safe distance (approx. 7 yards to be exact). Demon had forced the other six ponies into one corner while he had full run of the enclosure.  
  
"Do you think ve should be vorried about zat one?" asked Kurt.  
  
"I don' know yo," said Toad, "but I'm not goin' over there to scratch his nose anytime soon."  
  
"For vonce ve agree on something," said Kurt visibly wincing as Demon pawed the ground in annoyance and snorted.  
  
"Do you really think anyone will want to play polo?" asked Toad after snapping a mosquito right out of the air.  
  
"I hope not I don't know ze first thing about horses let alone polo!" admitted Kurt.  
  
"Me nietha, bro," confessed Toad.  
  
"I'm just happy mein sister decided to call Paul. I don't know what we would've done without him." said Kurt.  
  
"Me too," agreed Toad, "Hey, I'm just thankful he decided to shut down the Mounty station for a few days and bring Zeke, Bob and Larry (Captured in Canada reference). Not to mention the 10 cases of Molson. I know some of the guests don't want mixed drinks all the time."  
  
"Hey, vhat's he doing?" asked Kurt in horror as Demon baked up as far as he could, struck the ground twice and then charged straight at the gate.  
  
CRACK!  
  
NNNNAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!  
  
Demon had broken the clear off its hinges and then reared before beginning his rampage on the Xavier Institute.  
  
"This is not good, yo!" said Toad just hopping out the way in time before getting squished.  
  
"You think?!" yelled Kurt sarcastically over the sound of the stampeding ponies.  
  
-------------  
  
In the kitchen Rogue and Kitty were washing dishes. Correction-they had been washing dishes for past three hours-in silence.  
  
"Alriaght Kitty what is it?!" asked Rogue finally.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Kitty as nonchalantly as possible.  
  
"Ah mean," said Rogue sternly, "the last tiahme you were this quiahet you failed a math test."  
  
"I'm just thinking!" said Kitty quickly.  
  
"About Colossus?" asked Rogue slyly.  
  
"What?! No!-Why did he say something about me?"  
  
"Ha! Ah knew it," said Rogue triumphantly.  
  
"You like fully suck!" said Kitty.  
  
"Oh, calm down," said Rogue, "Ah happen to know for a fact that he liahkes ya."  
  
"Really?" asked Kitty visibly brightening up, "I can't tell. He's like so quiet all the time. He barely said anything the whole time we were setting up the dining room."  
  
"He's just shahy that's all. You should take a more diahrect approach." said Rogue.  
  
"I don't know." said Kitty hesitantly, "I don't want to like scare him off or anything."  
  
"He's a big boy, Kitty. Ah'm sure he can handle what evah you throw at him."  
  
"You really think so?" asked Kitty.  
  
"Ah know so, now go fiahnd him!"  
  
"But the dishes-" protested Kitty.  
  
"Ah'll handle them." said Rogue.  
  
"Thanks Rogue you're like the best!" said Kitty practically skipping towards the door.  
  
"Ah know," said Rogue smirking, "Ah know."  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile Gambit was having the same problem with Piotr as he was attempting to balance the books for that day.  
  
"I do not know what do, comrade." said Piotr in misery, "She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and whenever she comes near I lose my voice and cannot tell her."  
  
"Relax, Petey," said Remy as he punched a series of numbers into a calculator, "Gambit know for a fact de fili likes you jus' as much as you like her."  
  
"Really?" asked Piotr.  
  
"Oui," said Remy trying to concentrate on the numbers in front of him.  
  
"She has never said anything before," said Colossus.  
  
Gambit looked up, "Neither 'ave you, mon ami."  
  
"What should I say?" asked Piotr, "I always fear it will come out wrong."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, Petey," said Gambit, "lighten up yo so serious all de time Gambit surprised de fili 'asn't run de oth' way."  
  
"Then how do I show her I am not always serious?" asked Piotr.  
  
"Be spontaneous," Gambit offered, "now go find her an' sort de whole t'ing out. Remy 'as ta finish de accountin'."  
  
"I will, thank you," said Colossus heading towards the door.  
  
"Oh one more t'ing!" said Gambit opening a drawer of the desk he was sitting at, "'ere, no point in takin' de risk." With that the Cajun threw the Russian a Trojan (hehe-I love that sentence).  
  
Piotr stared at in shock as he started to turn pink.  
  
"Mon ami, if anyone be needin' ta get laid it be you. Now go on already de night ain't gone stay young forever!"  
  
Colossus shoved the little packet into his pocket, took a deep breath, then headed out the door and down the hall.  
  
-------------  
  
In the meantime Kitty had given up her search for Colossus, picked up a book and settled into an armchair in one of the smaller parlors. There was a fire in the fireplace, which made the atmosphere all that more cozy.  
  
Piotr, after conducting a rather detailed search of the first floor gave up after he couldn't find Kitty. So he went and grabbed his sketch book, then headed in search of a quiet spot to draw.  
  
Kitty had hardly settled in and started reading when who should appear in the threshold, but the Colossus himself (Tell me you saw this coming!).  
  
Both, once again, froze.  
  
After a few seconds Piotr was finally able to find his voice, "Do you mind if I join you?"  
  
"Yes!-I mean no-I don't mind if you like join me," said Kitty motioning to the chair opposite her.  
  
Piotr lowered himself into the chair slowly. Then opened his sketch pad and pretended to draw, sneaking glances at Kitty when she wasn't looking (Aww, isn't that cute, author turns green, covers mouth with hand and runs from the room).  
  
(Author returns!)  
  
It wasn't long before Kitty noticed what Piotr was doing.  
  
"It's awfully hot in here-with the fire and everything-can I get you a drink?" asked Kitty as she jumped to her feet.  
  
"Of course," said Piotr.  
  
"Great, what do you want?"  
  
As Colossus was about to answer when he remembered what Gambit had said about being spontaneous, "Surprise me,"  
  
"Um, ok," said Kitty as she walked out of the room.  
  
-------------  
  
In the kitchen Rogue had finished the dishes and was now having some tea with Wanda at the table.  
  
"I can't believe that idiot!" grumbled Wanda.  
  
"Yer brother?" asked Rogue.  
  
"No, the first guy this morning. He wanted me to call a cab so he could go to the movies. Right after I get off the phone his wife walks by and says, 'Honey, I thought we were going shopping today'. So after I call the cab company his two little brats walk by after going for a swim and insist that they were supposed to go to a theme park today. After 20 minutes of arguing they went separate ways. The father to the cabana bar, the mother to the sauna and the kids went back to the pool. I'm telling you, Rogue their morons!"  
  
"Who the parents or the kids?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Humans in general! Now I think I'm actually looking forward to Magneto conquering human kind." exclaimed Wanda, "I don't know how I'm going through the next three days." Wanda looked down into her tea cup miserably.  
  
"Whay don't just go 'relax' with John?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Don't you think I want to?" asked Wanda beginning to sound desperate, "He was so tired from waiting tables, keeping the pool clean and acting as the resident masseuse he fell asleep when I was rubbing his shoulders. He didn't even have to take care of the pool all day because Zeke took over the bar and Pietro completely took over cleaning the pool! And I'm in such a bad mood as it is the last thing I need is John crapping out on me right in the middle of something."  
  
Rogue couldn't help but chuckle, "Well then let 'im sleep now and tomorrow during yer lunch break whay don't you invite John back to yer room fer lunch and then fer 'dessert'?"  
  
"That's not a bad idea!" said Wanda happily.  
  
"Don't Ah know it. What did ya think me an' Gambit were doin' from niahne ta noon?"  
  
Wanda laughed, "I wondered what was taking so long to clear the dining room!"  
  
Kitty burst into the room, "Rogue, HELP!"  
  
"What is it now Kitty?" asked Rogue, "Don't tell me you still haven't found Colossus!"  
  
"That's just it!" said an exasperated Kitty, "I did."  
  
"So what's the problem?" asked Wanda.  
  
"I offered to get him a drink and he said 'surprise me'. What do I do?"  
  
"Bring him a beer," suggested Rogue, "all men like beer."  
  
"Well that takes care of the drink, but what about a surprise?! Beer isn't all that exciting!" insisted Kitty.  
  
"It is if yer a man," persisted Rogue.  
  
Wanda rolled her eyes at Rogue then looked a Kitty, "If you want to surprise him that badly then why don't you just serve it to him naked?"  
  
"Wanda you're a genius!" squealed Kitty as she grabbed to cans of Molson's (God knows they had plenty of it) from the frig and ran back the way she came.  
  
"That was-" Wanda trailed off as she watched Kitty leave.  
  
"Bizarre" ventured Rogue.  
  
"Yes," said Wanda as she took another sip of tea.  
  
-------------  
  
In the meantime Piotr was beginning to wonder what was taking Kitty so long. His fears of her just using that as an excuse to get away from him were forgotten when he heard the doorknob to the parlor door turn.  
  
"Katherine (is it an 'a' or an 'e'?) is that you?" asked Colossus closing his sketchbook.  
  
"Yes, it's me," said Kitty closing the door and locking it behind her.  
  
Needless to say Colossus was a little confused, "Katherine, is everything well?"  
  
"Everything's like fine," said Kitty coming up along side the chair Piotr was sitting in, "here," she held out one of the beer bottles to him.  
  
Colossus put his hand around hers as a way of mild flirtation, "Than-" he stopped mid word when he saw the only thing she was wearing was a scrunchy (one of those elastic hair ties-I don't know if I spelled it right).  
  
"Is something like wrong?" asked Kitty innocently.  
  
Colossus leaned forward and their lips met softly.  
  
THUD!  
  
They toppled on to the floor and it was on!  
  
After about a good five minutes of frantic making-out like doom's day would be upon them shortly Piotr finally went for hid fly (the zipper of his jeans).  
  
"Wait," said Kitty gasping for air.  
  
Piotr paused, "Da (yes)?"  
  
"Can I see it? I like assume when you transform you transform all over. I just want to make sure you won't hurt me." said Kitty a little nervously.  
  
"Do not worry Katherine I would never hurt you-see?" said Piotr.  
  
Kitty's eyes nearly popped out of her head as it turned out Piotr gave a whole new meaning to the phrase 'hung like a horse'.  
  
"Would you be like terribly offended if I started to sing 'sweet mystery of life at last I've found you'?"  
  
Piotr just chuckled and kissed Kitty as he rolled her onto her back on the carpeted floor of the parlor.  
  
-------------  
  
Well there you have it. I know some of you have been asking me for a Kiotr scene and there it was I hope you enjoyed it. And don't worry not only is there more to come with Kitty and Colossus, but Rogue and Remy as well as John and Wanda-MWHAHAHAHA! : damn there I go again, oh well-next chapter up soon.  
  
Oh and by the by Demon will become a larger part of the story soon along with the Mounties and the mutants who went to investigate Apocalypse whereabouts-just in case you were wondering ;} 


	9. Midday Margaritas

Chapter 9: Mid-day Margaritas  
  
Noon-Mutant Manor  
  
"Oh mah Gawd, yes!" yelled Rogue as the comforter rippled like ocean waves- during a typhoon.  
  
"Quoi, you like dat, Cher?" asked Remy slyly as he chuckled, "How 'bout dis?"  
  
"REMEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Rogue.  
  
beep-beep-beep  
  
"What the hell was that?" asked Rogue coming up for air.  
  
"Prob'ly de smoke alarm-Remy be on fiya!" said Gambit leaning against the headboard.  
  
"Oh, don't flattah yo-self, Cajun. It's mah watch alarm," said Rogue lifting her wristwatch from the nightstand.  
  
"Why you set yo watch, Chere?" asked Gambit.  
  
Rogue sat for a minute before remembering, "Oh shit! We have to go open the diahnin' room fer lunch."  
  
"Dey can wait 5 more minutes," said Gambit stretching.  
  
"Just help me fiahnd mah bra!"  
  
;}  
  
Jamie was the only one in the dining room when Remy and Rogue finally got it together.  
  
"Jamie are you the only one heah?" asked Rogue smoothing out her clothes.  
  
"Ya," said Jamie.  
  
"Where's Pyro?" asked Gambit.  
  
"He had to meet Wanda for lunch and I wasn't about to get in the middle of that." said Jamie.  
  
"Remy don' blame ya!"  
  
"Still wheah is everyone?" Rogue insisted.  
  
"Who are you calling everyone?" asked Jamie.  
  
"Well, liahke Zeke, Bob an' Larry fer instance," said Rogue crossing her arms.  
  
"Zeke is working the cabana, Bob took over massages for Pyro and Larry took over concierge for Wanda." responded Jamie.  
  
"An' Paul?" asked Gambit.  
  
"He took over at the front desk while Amara cleans rooms," explained Jamie.  
  
"Hey wheah are Kitty and Colossus? They were supposesd to be down heah before you!" exclaimed Rouge.  
  
"Last time I checked," said Jamie, "They were going to play 'hide the sausage' in the shower."  
  
Gambit just laughed, "Go Petey!"  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile Wanda and John had just finished a very sensual lunch.  
  
"Ready for dessert?" asked Wanda.  
  
"You know it," said Pyro.  
  
Wanda smiled slyly, "I'll be right back," she said as she gave John an Eskimo kiss.  
  
With that she sauntered off to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.  
  
The next sound John heard was something to the effect of-  
  
SSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
"Shi-er-Wanda, you alright?" asked John, "What is for dessert exactly?"  
  
The door to the bathroom flew open-  
  
BANG!  
  
"I hope you like Sundays," said Wanda who was now sporting nothing other than a whipped cream bikini.  
  
With that said Wanda held up a spoon.  
  
"Trust me, that won't be necessary," said Pyro with hungry eyes.  
  
(Why don't we just give those kids some privacy?)  
  
-------------  
  
Outside the institute both Toad and Kurt had taken refuge from the tyranny of Demon in a bush.  
  
"Do you see him anyvere?" asked Kurt.  
  
"No and that's probably not a good thing, yo," said Toad nervously looking both ways.  
  
Actually Demon was nowhere near Kurt and Toad. He had made a new friend, Zeke. It seems bizarre, but if we go further into the matter it does make sense.  
  
You see Zeke put himself through the Mounty academy by bartending nights and weekends. His specialty was the Margarita, which sounds kind of strange for such a cold climate, but as fate would have it the name of the bar Zeke had worked in was called, and I shit you not, Margaritaville (go figure).  
  
Even more bizarre Demon's original owner had not only played the ponies, but women as well, ok that's not too weird, but stay with me. Whenever his owner met a new woman he always took her to the barn after dinner on the first date. There he would show Demon off and tell about all the races he had won, most importantly how much he was worth (Demon that is), while the owner told the woman all of this they sipped Margaritas. When the owner and his new 'lady friend' would decide to go 'someplace more quiet' they would leave their drinks on a stool outside Demon's stall, well within his reach.  
  
Needless to say the two became fast friends.  
  
"Oh, you like her?" asked Zeke as he stood cleaning a glass. He had noticed Demon looking at a picture of his little black mare (you know the one that was dragging him through the parking lot in Captured in Canada), "I could set you up."  
  
Demon just stared at the photo while sipping his Margarita.  
  
BAM! - The kitchen door flew open and Pietro came whizzing out with Wanda on his heels.  
  
"Give me that tape!" yelled Wanda.  
  
Apparently John and Wanda had decided to video tape their little 'Ice Cream Social', shall we call it? And somehow, unbeknownst to even the author, Pietro had gained possession of it! (Author checks original score-"How the hell?" she says aloud to no one in particular.)  
  
Pietro continued to run as the guest watched in shock.  
  
ZAAAAAP!  
  
Wanda let loose one of those electric hex bolts and stuck her brother to the ground, gracefully sauntered up and pried the tape from his hands, "I'll take that!"  
  
(Author scratches head in bewilderment, then a lit light bulb forms over her head-"Aha, it must have been when John and Wanda decided to take that shower!" she proclaims.)  
  
When Wanda turned to walk way she got a slobbery, margarita-flavored kiss right on the lips from demon.  
  
Not only was Demon addicted to margaritas, but electric shock as well ever since that 'fateful day'.  
  
-------------  
  
Now we finally catch up to the unlikely search party for Apocalypse. As it turned out they arrived at their final destination in the midst of a rainstorm. Ororo did her best, but they still had a rather bad crash landing (Ok, what crash landing was actually good?!)  
  
The adults had gone in search a cave three hours ago and were now just returning. They paused before they went into the jet-  
  
"Do you think we should knock?" asked Storm.  
  
"Why would you say tha-oh." said Mastermind.  
  
"Oh, come on they had three hours!" said Wolverine, "This is Scott and Jean were talkin' about!"  
  
"The runt's got a point," admitted Creed.  
  
"Still, they are at that age," ventured Mytique.  
  
"Anything would seem plausible," acknowledged Beast.  
  
They all looked at Charles.  
  
"This is one area I try not to pry," said Xavier.  
  
Mystique crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "Try?"  
  
"Oh for the love of-" said a rather exasperated Magneto as he used his power to open the door.  
  
The adults walked in to find Scott repairing the cockpit and Jean reading War and Peace, she closed the cover as they entered.  
  
"Don't tell me you read the entire book while we were gone!" exclaimed Mystique.  
  
"Uh, ya I did," said Jean rather confused.  
  
"So ya didn't-?" Wolverine started.  
  
Scott and Jean both froze for a minute. They were a little slow on the up take.  
  
"OH MY GOD!" shouted Jean visibly paling.  
  
"HOLY-!"  
  
THWAK!  
  
Scott hit his head on the dash as he sat up too fast, "OW!"  
  
"We were gone for three hours!" said Magneto, "What did you do the whole time, talk?!"  
  
"And clean up from the crash," said Jean.  
  
"Well, I hope you're happy Charles, you've failed as a father," said Mystique blatantly.  
  
Xavier just smiled proudly at his two charges.S  
  
Then Mystique turned toward Scott and Jean, "What are you, living in the Victorian Era?"  
  
"Trust me it wasn't that great (he is that old right?)!" Creed interjected, "We should have brought the other two at least they were entertaining that one morning in the kitchen."  
  
"Why you-" Mystique lunged for Sabertooth.  
  
Oh ya, the mission was progressing real well.  
  
-------------  
  
More to come, although it might take me a little longer. I just started Beauty and the Beast in the movie verse. 


	10. Day 3: The Return of Merf

Day 3: The Return of Merf  
  
[How Much Embarrassment Can 2 Mutants Take ref.]  
  
(Be afraid, be very afraid-you know somewhere between bed wetting and a near death experience)  
  
Well it was official, Demon had found a new mommy, more specifically Wanda. In fact Demon loved his new mommy so much he followed her everywhere. Everyone was so amused by this they took some of their profits and had a king-sized dog bed FedEx-ed by over night, first class, air mail.  
  
Wanda-was not amused. Toad was bad enough, but now a deranged polo pony?! Could the week get and weirder? (Rest assured my extraordinary readers, it can and I will!)  
  
The bed was delivered at ten in the morning. The FedEx guy walked up in full uniform with two clipboards.  
  
Wanda looked up from her paperwork, "Merf?!"  
  
"It's nice to see you again too," said Merf sarcastically, "sign here," he held out the clip board.  
  
Merf left and returned with a sizable box. Opened it and put the bed next to Wanda's desk.  
  
"That must be one hell of a watch dog," remarked Merf.  
  
"You have no idea," said Wand rolling her eyes.  
  
"Aren't you going to call him and see if he likes it?" asked Merf.  
  
"Alright," said Wanda, "It's your funeral," she whistled.  
  
Demon bounded into the room like one ton terrier puppy, but stopped dead at the sight of Merf.  
  
Demon stood motionless for a moment-then pounced on Merf, leveling him and licking his face.  
  
"He's never done that before," said Wanda in confusion as she leaned over her desk for a better view.  
  
Merf just laughed as Demon sniffed his FedEx uniform and snorted.  
  
"Do you two need to be alone?" asked Wanda raising an eye brow.  
  
"That's ok." said Merf chuckling as he rose to his feet, "We're onlt two old friends saying 'hello'."  
  
"'Old friends'?" Wanda was intrigued.  
  
"Ya, Dante's Inferno and I go way back, like recliners," explained Merf as he stroked Demon's nose.  
  
"No shit?" said Wanda sarcastically at Merf's comparison.  
  
Merf decided to ignore her last comment, "We met on the circuit a few years back and made a great team. We won every race we entered up until that last one with the freak rain storm-"  
  
"You were the jockey who rode Demon the night he was electrocuted?!" Wanda asked.  
  
"Ya," said Merf, "who did you think lifted the gate off of his neck. He probably wouldn't be here if I hadn't. By the time he had come out of the ER his owner and my boos at the time had already sold him. Right then I gave him my resignation-the finger, walked out and went freelance and have been ever since."  
  
"Why didn't you just buy him?" asked Wanda.  
  
"With what?!" asked Merf, "The second I left all my benefits and insurance went too I only had was a couple hundred in savings and that had to hold me over through the off season! Lady, I can still barely afford to take care of myself and I have two full-time and one part-time job in the off season! It takes thousands to keep a horse. I can't even think about buying him for another four years!"  
  
"What happens in four years?!" now Wanda was really confused.  
  
"My trust fund matures in four years," said Merf putting Demon's forelock behind one of his ears.  
  
"Trust fund?!"  
  
"Ya, my parents are actually very wealthy. They spend 2/3 of every year jet setting through Europe with my older sister and her husband, an Austrian Barron. They're pissed at me because I wouldn't let them arrange my marriage. They kicked me out of the house when I was 18 with nothing, but the clothes on my back, but because I was the oldest boy in my family my grandfather signed over his entire fortune to me when I was born because he didn't want my father to have it the money-"  
  
"Maternal grandfather I take it," said Wanda.  
  
"Ya, why?" asked Merf.  
  
"Just wondering. By the way, why the hell are you telling me all of this?" asked Wanda crossing her arms.  
  
"Useless secondary character plot, it has to go somewhere." explained Merf flatly, "I'm also here to see a Mister L-L-Le-"  
  
"LeBeau," corrected Wanda, "top of the stairs, first left."  
  
"Great, thanks," said Merf.  
  
"Why do you need to see him?" asked Wanda.  
  
"Something about a helicopter blade," said Merf as he walked towards the staircase.  
  
"Wait you know how to repair helicopters?!" asked Wanda a bit shocked.  
  
"Ya, my parents own all kinds of aircrafts. I used to hang out with the technician. This is my other full-time job."  
  
"Then what's your part-time job?" asked Wanda.  
  
"I'm a short order chef in a diner about ten miles from here."  
  
"That's kind of ironic," said Wanda chucking a bit at his height, "you being short and all."  
  
Merf flared his nostrils, "Like I've never heard that before and further more the preferred term is 'vertically challenged'!"  
  
Wanda was barely able to hold her composure until Merf was out of earshot before she nearly fell out of her chair laughing.  
  
-------------  
  
There was a knock at Remy's office door.  
  
"Come in!" he said after a brief pause.  
  
Merf walked in, "I'm here about a helicopter."  
  
"Oui, Jamie will bring you down non?" said Remy as he buzzed the youngest member of the X-Men.  
  
Jamie could be heard running up the stairs. He burst through the door and into the office nearly out of breath.  
  
"Jamie, take the technician to down to de hanger-de hell you outta breath, pup?" asked Remy.  
  
"I just came from the 9th layer of hell," Jamie sputtered between gasps.  
  
"Quoi?" Remy was lost.  
  
"Pyro and me are the only two waiters handling lunch, we can hardly catch a two second break.  
  
"Take him down to de hanger an' Gambit gon' find de rest o' de wait staff, hear?"  
  
"Ok," said Jamie as he lead Merf down to the basement.  
  
"Dere gone," said Gambit after the door closed.  
  
"Fiahnally, that took forevah," said a rather annoyed Rogue walking out from behind the curtain in nothing but her underwear.  
  
-------------  
  
"Whoa, what the hell did you guys do put this thing through a blender?" asked Merf when he saw what was left of the helicopter.  
  
"Can you fix it?" asked Jamie nervously.  
  
"Ya, but it's gonna take me awhile. All the same you should probably light some candles and pray anyway, kid-you know just a precaution."  
  
"It is really that bad?" asked Jamie.  
  
"While your at it why don't you bring some holy men back with you, ya know a priest, a rabbi, a few Buddhist monks and a really big ladder," said Merf, who was unable to take is eyes off the live, sparking wires dangling off either side of the helicopter's cabin and the propeller which was sill suspended in the recently dented hanger door.  
  
"I can probably get a ladder, I don't know about that other stuff though, anything else?"  
  
"Electrical gloves, a shit load of coffee and a whole lot of time," said Merf.  
  
"I don't how to tell you this," said Jamie, "but we are kind of on a schedule here."  
  
"Your kidding, right? Tell me that was some sick attempt a humor!"  
  
"No actually we need it done in two days," said Jamie calmly.  
  
"Kid, all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't fix this-this monstrosity in two weeks!" exclaimed Merf as how much electrical work was needed began to sink in, let alone re-attaching the blades straight as opposed to lopsided.  
  
"Well of course not!" said Jamie, "Those little fuckers couldn't even put an egg back together!"  
  
Merf just put his hand over his eyes and sighed.  
  
Then the phone rang.  
  
Jamie walked over and picked it up, "Mutant Manor, how can I help you?" just like Rogue told him to do, "You've reached the hanger."  
  
"Jamie? It's Scott. What are you talking about?!"  
  
-------------  
  
By the time Remy and Rogue had rounded up and sent Amara, Bobby, Berzerker and Sunspot to the dining room lunch was half over. They decided it was best not to disturb Piotr and Kitty considering all those 'late nights' they put in (hehe).  
  
Remy and Rogue had just returned to Gambit's office. Rogue sat down in his chair and Remy had started to rub her shoulders when Jamie burst in.  
  
BAM!  
  
The door flew open.  
  
"De hell?!" Remy looked up to see an incredibly distraught Jamie before him.  
  
"What's the problem now?" asked Rouge rather annoyed.  
  
"Scott just called!" said Jamie.  
  
"So?" said Rouge, "He's a total control freak of course he called to see how things were going."  
  
"You didn' tell anyting right, pup?" said Remy in a dangerous tone.  
  
"No, no! You don't understand." exclaimed Jamie, "They're coming back a day early!" 


	11. Cleaning House

Chapter 11: Cleaning House  
  
I don't own any of the X-men, Brotherhood or Acolytes and it pisses me off!  
  
Pandemonium is far too mild of a word to fully capture the true insanity that ensued on day 4. By some grace of whatever almighty is out there (and no not Bruce-Pay attention!) Amara, Bobby, Sunspot and Berzerker were able to check all the guests out by 2:30 in the afternoon. After the last taxi had left a massive clean-up of the entire mansion was launched everything had to be put back the way it was.  
  
Meanwhile Merf had recruited Forge and Colossus to help him with the helicopter. Colossus went about straightening out the bent blades, while Forge ran a diagnostic on the cockpit to see how much damage was sustained in the to the control panel. Merf on the other hand was given the task of testing the wires that hung on either side of the cabin.  
  
With a schematic of the wiring of the helicopter in font of him Merf went about his task touching the tip of his needle nose pliers to the tip of each wire as he straddled the cabin.  
  
"Wire A12-dead, wire Q17-dead, wire H20-dead, wire E7-ZZZZttttt!"  
  
Merf received the shock of his life! It blew him clear off the helicopter and into a wall of the hand. By the time poor Merf hit the floor he was smokin' (literally!) and it looked like Dr. Frankenstein was his hair stylist!  
  
Merf sat up, "-live" he barely managed before blacking out.  
  
-------------  
  
Rogue was folding towels with Wanda in the commons room when Kitty walked in.  
  
"Haven't seen you in a while," said Rogue raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Have fun?" asked Wanda fighting a smirk.  
  
"OMG! You guys have like no idea!" squealed Kitty.  
  
"So," said Rouge as she picked up another towel, "Colossus better than Lance?"  
  
"YES!" said Kitty enthusiastically, "I swear I couldn't like walk right for a day after the time and I never dreamed he was so-so-"  
  
"'Gifted'?" asked Wanda slyly.  
  
"Is it metallic?" asked Rogue somewhat wide eyed.  
  
"Not unless he covers his whole body in metal," explained Kitty.  
  
"Any quarks you want to tell us about?" inquired Wanda.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Kitty rather confused.  
  
"Well, John is into themes-" explained Wanda.  
  
"Remy is really loud and has yelled out the names of quiahte as few saints in the past when he gets really-'exiahted'" said Rogue.  
  
"Oh," said Kitty rather sheepishly, "I guess Piotr has a quark-"  
  
Both Wanda and Rogue leaned in.  
  
"He likes the shower-I mean really likes the shower! We were in there for almost like four hours. I hardly even noticed when the hot water ran out." Kitty giggled a little, "But what about pet names?"  
  
"You know Remy calls me 'Cher' or 'Chere'," said Rogue.  
  
"John tries to call me 'Sheila', but I don't let him just because it sounds so generic." said Wanda, "What does Petey call you?"  
  
"Katya" said Kitty.  
  
-------------  
  
Later that night the clean up was officially ended with the exception of the helicopter of course. Yep, it seemed our young mutants were in the clear-well most of them anyway-  
  
Paul, Kurt and Toad were had loaded the ponies into their trailers to go back to their farm.  
  
"Vait!" said Kurt as the trailer drove down the road and into the sunset, "Vere's Demon?!"  
  
"Ya, I thought he was goin' back too, yo" said Toad.  
  
Both boys looked at Paul.  
  
"No, Demon's going to come back to the station with me and the boys. We're going to look after him until Merf's trust fund kicks in." Paul explained.  
  
The two teens watched as Paul walked back into the house.  
  
"Vere do you think Demon is now?" asked Kurt.  
  
"Prob'ly with Wanda or Zeke," said Toad.  
  
"Ja, I'm sure your ri-" Kurt trailed off.  
  
Both boys froze.  
  
Heavy breathing could be heard behind them. It sounded-unearthly.  
  
"Well aren't you gonna turn around?!" asked Toad.  
  
"Nien! Why me?!" asked Kurt.  
  
"Because I did last time, yo!" said Toad.  
  
"Zere vas no last time!" said Kurt.  
  
At that point the argument was cut short by a resounding, "NNNAAAAAYYYY!"  
  
Both mutants ran down the length of the property-  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"  
  
-------------  
  
Amara sat up in bed, "Did you hear something?"  
  
"No," said Bobby as he went back to kissing Amara's neck.  
  
"Neither did I," said Berzerker as he sank down into the covers to board the ship to the netherworld-(Mwahahaha!)  
  
(Oh, like you couldn't figure it out on your own! C'mon people-Bobby and Berzerker are mainly the only two people Amara hangs out with-in this story and just on the whole if you really think about it! Hell, new recruits gotta stick together, right?)  
  
-------------  
  
In another part of the mansion, Gambit and Rogue had just finished and were snuggling in bed when Rogue asked, "Sugah, how come you know so many saints bah name?"  
  
"Le's jus' say every Christmas Daddy drag Remy an' Henri ta church fo' midnight mass."  
  
"That doesn't sound so bad," said Rogue thoughtfully.  
  
"Dat's not de worst part," said Remy miserably.  
  
"What's so bad about that?" asked Rogue.  
  
"Daddy lets Tante Mattie wake us up wid news papers," Remy suddered a little.  
  
Rogue just started to laugh knowing Tante Mattie Personally she could imagine how quickly that situation could turn ugly.  
  
"Oh you tink dat funny, Chere?" asked Gambit, "You tink dis be funny too?"  
  
Remy started tickling Rouge, which sparked round 2-DING! (boxing bell- hehe!)  
  
-------------  
  
By daybreak the search for Apocalypse had officially met its end. Everyone's bags were packed the jet had been prepped and they were in the midst of take off. If they continued on course they would return to Bayville by night fall, totally unaware of what had gone on in their absence-for now (Mwhahaha!)  
  
AN: Somebody call the fat lady, she's on in 5-Everyone knows their going to get caught, they're just not quite sure how-Until the next chapter I'm Clinically Insane, thank you for your reviews! 


	12. Survival of the Fittest

Chapter 12: Survival of the Fittest  
  
On its way back the X-Jet hit some turbulence and was delayed. Their first stop was the ski resort. Storm and Mystique put the jet down just to the side of the huge metal sphere protruding from the snowy ground.  
  
All the adults went into the sphere, while Jean and Scott waited outside.  
  
~inside~  
  
"It's way too clean," observer Mystique.  
  
"They haven't been here in days," said Wolverine sniffing the air.  
  
"No, they haven't." said Xavier using his telepathy, "They're all at the mansion."  
  
"That's bizarre." said Mastermind, "Why would they go over there?"  
  
"Cable probably went out," said Creed sarcastically.  
  
Once everyone was back outside Magneto closed the metallic dome.  
  
THWAP!  
  
A piece of pink paper hit Scott in the face.  
  
"Ah, what the-" said Scott peeling the sheet of his face.  
  
"Holy shit!" yelled Jean when she glanced at the sheet.  
  
Needless to say everyone was staring at her. Jean Grey swear?-There must be a glitch a the matrix (haha)!  
  
Scott held the page in front of him and read it aloud:  
"'Come one, come all  
For 4 days only  
And only 4 days  
Mutant Manor will open its doors  
Stay the night  
Or come and meet our all mutant staff!'"  
  
"All mutant staff?!" Jean was freaking out by now.  
  
"Well this explains a lot," said Scott.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Jean who was a little on edge at this point.  
  
"When Jamie picked the phone he said 'Mutant Manor!"  
  
-------------  
  
Meanwhile at the Xavier Institute the clean up had officially ended at 12:30 am. All the kids stood back and admired their work, minus Kurt and Toad of course who were still at the mercy of the tyranny of Demon. The mansion was nothing short of immaculate-that's when it hit them-  
  
"Oh mah Gawd!" yelled Rouge, "It's too clean!"  
  
"Merde, you right, Chere!" shouted Remy.  
  
Everyone dispersed quickly and dirty the place up as quickly as possible then went to bed.  
  
~Time Passes~  
  
Due to control panel complications the adults as well as Scott and Jean were delayed a little longer considering they couldn't fix it. They were forced to call for a few cabs. They reached the Institute around 2:30 am.  
  
They had started to embark up the driveway. All the lights were out and all seemed quiet until-  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"  
  
Toad and Kurt came flying around the side of the building with Demon only a pace or two behind them and gaining.  
  
SKNIT!-"The hell?!" Logan unsheathed his claws in the moonlight.  
  
Jean held the Demon in place, while Toad and Kurt caught their breath and Logan retracted his claws.  
  
"I know this might sound somewhat inane (silly)," Hank began, "but why is a horse chasing you?"  
  
"It's not a horse it's a polo pony-" said Toad.  
  
"Nien, it's ze spawn of Satan!" exclaimed Kurt.  
  
"Why is it here?!" asked Mastermind.  
  
"I don' know-" said Toad.  
  
"Rogue and Gambit wanted them-" explained Kurt.  
  
"And where are your sister and Gambit?" asked Mystique crossing her arms.  
  
"Asleep in their room, I guess," responded Kurt.  
  
"'THEIR ROOM'?!" Mystique shrieked.  
  
"Whoops," said Kurt.  
  
"I think you just signed their death certificate, yo," said Toad.  
  
"Nein, I just signed my own, mein sister will kill me!" said Kurt.  
  
Don't forget Gambit, man" added Toad.  
  
"Not with two broken legs he won't!" shouted Mystique as the headed for the front door.  
  
With that Jean released Demon and the two boys picked up right where they left off-  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"  
  
In the foyer the retuning mutants found all four Mounties loosing their shirts in a lighting round of poker to Jamie.  
  
"Jamie?! What are you doing up?" asked Scott.  
  
"Would you believe kicking some ass and taking names?" asked Jamie.  
  
"No," said Scott flatly.  
  
"Paul? Why are you guys here?" asked Creed.  
  
"Well Rogue and Gambit called us to come and help with the polo ponies they had delivered and Zeke tended the bar-"  
  
"Bar?!" asked Beast "We don't have a liquor license!"  
  
"Where are Rogue and Gambit?" asked Magneto.  
  
"Up stairs, I assume," said Paul.  
  
"Ya, they're in their room," said Jamie.  
  
"Take us there!" ordered Wolverine.  
  
"Two seconds," said Jamie as he rearranged the cards in his hands, "Royal flush."  
  
"Damn it," said Bob.  
  
"He hasn't lost yet," said Paul.  
  
"I swear he counting the cards!" said Larry.  
  
"Are you sure probability isn't part of your mutation?!" asked Zeke.  
  
"Let's go!" said Jean.  
  
Jamie led the returning travelers up stairs and stopped at the dynamic duo's door, "This one. Now what?"  
  
"You go to bed!" said Scott.  
  
Jamie just rolled his eyes and went quietly, knowing better than to fight with Scott when he was in a pissy mood. "Cyke, definitely needs to get laid more," Jamie thought to himself, "too bad Jean won't get off her high horse."  
  
"I heard that!" yelled Jean.  
  
Wolverine covered her mouth, "Do ya wanna ruin the element of surprise?!"  
  
Mystique turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly.  
  
Remy and Rogue were fast asleep, spooned up against one another.  
  
Light from the hallway flooded into the darkened room and cut Rogue across the face. Her eyelids scrunched a little and then she rolled over and faced Remy, "Kitty, Ah told you whatevah it it Ah'll handle it in the mornin'."  
  
SKNIT!  
  
Both teens were wide awake in a split second-"Oh mah Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!"  
  
THUD!  
  
They lost their balance and rolled off the far side of the bed.  
  
"Remy get yo hand off a mah- (oh, like you don't know! This is the 'Raggin' Cajun we're talking about!)-SLAP!  
  
"OW!" yelped Remy, "Cher, do really tink dis be de time fo' foreplay?"  
  
"Ah can't believe you just said that!" yelled Rogue, "Whay I oughtta-'  
  
"Are you two quite finished?" asked Beast.  
  
The two teens stood up (wearing pajamas mid you!-let's not start any of this crap!). Remy had his arms around Rogue's waist.  
  
"Unhand my daughter!" yelled Mystique.  
  
"Remy can't!" Gambit insisted.  
  
"Don't you get smart with me you little wise-ass you're in enough trouble as it is!" shouted Mystique.  
  
"No, he really can't," said Rogue, "he wearing hand cuffs! Throw meh the key. It's in the drawer."  
  
"I told you we should have brought them," insisted Sabertooth, "at least their entertaining."  
  
"I am not in the mood!" said Mystique in a dangerous tone.  
  
"What do you two have to say for yourselves?" asked Magneto.  
  
"Uh-welcome back?" ventured Remy.  
  
"Try again," growled Wolverine.  
  
"Please don' kill us?!" begged Remy.  
  
"Much better," said Wolverine crossing his arms.  
  
"I can't believe you dragged Kitty and Colossus into this!" scolded Jean.  
  
"Ya know for a telepath yer pretty naïve," said Rogue.  
  
Jean gave Rogue a dirty look.  
  
"What, ya don't believe me?" asked Rogue putting her hands on her hips, "Fiahne, go across the hall and knock on their door."  
  
"Their door?!" asked Scott.  
  
"Ya, Scott their door-gotta hearin' problem?" asked Rogue sarcastically.  
  
"No, but while you're in such a talkative mood, care to explain this?" asked Scott holding up the flyer that hit him in the face."  
  
"Hey, we did what we 'ad to, homme," said Gambit defensively.  
  
"Care to elaborate in a less comfortable setting?" asked Beast.  
  
Before long all the adults, Rogue, Remy, Scott, Jean, the Mounties and Pietro (who was awakened from a blissful slumber by all the yelling) were all seated in the foyer.  
  
"Now," said the Prof., "Why don't you start from the beginning."  
  
So, Remy and Rogue told the whole story about the helicopter and needing the $13,000 and how they met at Starbuck's and hooked Piotr and Kitty because of their prior interest in one another. Then how they needed to convert the mansion into a resort and the fasted way to do that seemed to enlisting the aid of polo ponies, considering the fact that it was so greatly revered in high society and much more entertaining that croquet or lawn darts for that matter. That's why Demon had been terrorizing the grounds and then by some odd coincidence it turned out the helicopter repairman had known Demon from the miniature racing track, a small circuit, but nonetheless growing more popular by the day and that the jockey was also a short order chef part-time. Although Merf was only going to hold all his jobs until his trust fund kicked it in about four years.  
  
That's when Forge and Merf came through the main hall.  
  
"I can't believe we finally finished," said Merf.  
  
"I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life, man," said Forge.  
  
"Wanna go collapse by the pool?" asked Merf.  
  
"Sure," said Forge, "assuming we can make it that far-how long has it been since we've slept."  
  
"About 76½ hours," said Merf looking at his watch.  
  
"Not so fast you two!" said Storm.  
  
The two men looked over.  
  
"Shit, were we supposed to take the back stairs?" asked Merf.  
  
"Non, don' worry 'bout it," said Remy.  
  
"So where's all the money?" asked Magneto, "Surely you kept a log."  
  
"Ya, it's in de third parlor in de desk," said Remy.  
  
"Pietro, bring it here," ordered Magneto.  
  
Pietro returned as fast as he left and handed the book to his father.  
  
Magneto flipped to the last page with writing on it-  
  
"YOU MADE 75,000 DOLLARS?!"  
  
Everyone was speechless.  
  
"Uh ya," said Rogue, "everyone is interested in mutants a little more than we thought."  
  
"Oui," said Gambit, "de governor stopped by as well."  
  
"An' we were in the paper as well," said Rogue, "we didn't even know the reporter was heah."  
  
"I'm just impressed you made it legitimately," said Scott directing his comment toward Gambit.  
  
"Hey!" Gambit yelled.  
  
"Apparently you want a pair of black eyes! What the first one wasn't enough?!" asked Rogue.  
  
"Please, try to touch him," challenged Jean.  
  
"That's enough!" said Xavier.  
  
"Just cut to the case," said Rogue, "What's are punishment?"  
  
The Prof. just smiled, "I'm not going to punish you."  
  
Rogue's jaw dropped.  
  
"What?!" roared Scott.  
  
"This is outrageous!" said Jean.  
  
"Charles, I must agree with Scott and Jean on this one," said Ororo.  
  
"Ya, Chuck whar's the deal?!" asked a rather confused Wolverine.  
  
"Well," said the Prof., "so far Gambit and Rogue are the only two who have successfully been able to have both sides work together longer than the duration of one mission. That in itself is quite an accomplishment."  
  
Then everyone looked at Magneto, "I won't punish you either. The base was standing when we got back, that's all I care about."  
  
"Oh c'mon!" said Logan rather P.O.-ed.  
  
"Don't worry, Logan I'm sure you'll think of something to do with Magma, Iceman, Sunspot and Berzerker." said the Prof.  
  
"What the hell is all the yelling about?!" shouted Wanda from the top of the banister.  
  
Everyone was a little taken back by her outfit. Wanda was wearing a full riding uniform for huntseat. You know blood red coat, tan skintight spandex pants and black leather knee high boots. She balanced the helmet covered in black leather on her hip and held a short black riding crop in her hand.  
  
That was about the time St. John appeared behind her in black silk boxers and headband with fuzzy horse ears on it, "Shi-er Wanda are you comin' back to bed or what?" that 's when John caught sight of the adults below-Magneto in particular-"Oh shit!"  
  
Needless to say all the metal objects in the room started to shake. Sure Magneto and Wanda didn't have the greatest relationship, but she still was HIS DAUGHTER!  
  
"Not so funny when it's your daughter, is it?" asked Mystique.  
  
"The hell does that mean?!" growled Rogue.  
  
"Well at least I finally know why yer always limpin'," said Creed noticing the whip in Wanda's hand.  
  
"IS EVERYONE DOING IT, BUT US?!" asked Scott in a moment of brief hysteria.  
  
"What was yer first clue, Scooter?" asked Wolverine.  
  
"On second thought maybe some survival training is in order," said Xavier, "with any luck you'll all learn some discipline as well as self restraint." He looked at Creed and Logan, "Think you two restrain yourselves long enough to teach some survival training?"  
  
The two augmented animals looked at each other, grinning like madmen.  
  
"I think we can make an exception," said Creed.  
  
"Ya, just this once," added Wolverine.  
  
"So," said Pietro leaning back in his chair pompously as he smiled, "going for a midnight ride, Sis?"  
  
~Fin~  
  
Next up: Bushwhacked 


End file.
